On traveling as a team, banned words, and Deed’s motto
Going Together
Deed and I are a team. We move as a team. We think as a team. We have grown together as a team. We have been in harmony for 63 years except for those few times when I stubbed my toes on smaller house rules.
In fact, the moment we truly became a “team” can be, with some accuracy, pinpointed to a morning on our honeymoon. I recall it being the third morning after the vows were pledged. I came whistling down the stairs with a skip in my step and a song in my heart to find Deed in the breakfast nook. She had the look not of a bride, but a look that I had often seen in her mother. As I sat down, Deed said, “You made a decision yesterday without first running it by me. That’s not a good idea”. Now, I’ll be the first to admit, as I look back on those early days of marital bliss it took a little while for me to process the full meaning of “team”.
Tip! In summation, lesson learned. A team is not about equality, but each team member knowing his or her place.
Traveling as family or friends has many of the same characteristics as a team. Plan and travel as a team.
An intimate group trip has a unique set of variables with many moving parts making the pre-trip planning most important, and fun.
Some things to consider:
Building the itinerary: Are they your guests? Does everyone have equal input? Are the budgets comparable? How much time is allocated to planning the trip together?
How much time do you spend together during the trip?
Will meals always, sometimes, or never be taken together?
Will you at times go your separate ways? For days at a time?
What activities are shared?
Are your age and health issues similar.
Censorship
The very word censorship calls up memories of book burnings, of Stalinist Russia, of hemlock potions, and my 5th grade teacher so the very word “censorship” is wrapped in fright and dark thoughts.
It is with more than a trifling degree of trepidation that I become the advocate for censorship. But age emboldens me to proceed, and with meds in hand I passionately propose a ban on the following words: HURRY, RUSH, PANIC, FRENZY, DASH, SCURRY, And of course the much hated --- RUN. Runner’s should, as in days of yore, be boiled in their own pudding. I propose also to include in the ban: “ARE YOU READY YET?”, and “IT'S TIME TO GO!”.
Hearing no objections I continue.
DEED’s Motto
When I was young and still learning about this marriage stuff Deed called a team meeting and boldly said that henceforth we would FEED OUR SOULS BEFORE WE FED OUR BODIES.
At the time of that pronouncement, it just so happened I was about to have breakfast.
Stay with me. Again, I was slow to decipher her gist --- I thought she wanted to pray or something, but she calmly sat me down for one of her famous 101’s on the full meaning of her little gem of a motto.
Until that moment my formula for a successful life had always been to have a slow leisurely breakfast and around 10:30 to look around to see what the world had in store for me.
Now as a free and responsible adult, and an older adult to boot, you can accept or reject that motto. I, on the other hand, lacking in the characteristics associated with freedom, and still lacking a number of the vital features of adulthood was/am not in a position to take a stand in opposition.
My life was altered. But, to give credit where credit is due it is a sterling motto. The motto lesson was soon followed by a session on the 101 characteristics of a lead pup.
Deed quickly implemented our new motto. Permit me to demonstrate the finer details.
For example, actually there are no examples, every place is at its best between 6-9 in the morning --- with the exception of the Shetland Islands.
Tip! In traveling there are very few universal truths but this one. The best time to explore is between 6-9 in the morning and the best time for breakfast is after 9:00. Between those magical hours there will be no tourists, no crowds, no hawkers, and no traffic. Take that to the bank! The hours are fresh and clear, and the world belongs to you. Then sometime after 9:00 you return for breakfast. Remember not even that good morning coffee until after you have fed your soul.
Try it. See Venice at sunrise. With that, Deed changed my life.